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Top 10 Reasons to Read the Lakeholm Viewer

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By John Berk 

News and Features Editor

LV_twitter_colorUnless you are a new student at Mount Vernon Nazarene University, or you have spent your time here living under a rock (instead of in the provided dormitories and apartments) you should be aware of the university newspaper, The Lakeholm Viewer.

You may not, however, have felt the need to read a single article from it, perhaps choosing to ignore it entirely, or maybe deciding to just look at the pictures (that is the fun part).

But this fall, we’re working harder than ever to ensure you read the campus news first, before using it to line your (illegal) birdcage in your dorm room. Here are our the top ten reasons to read The Lakeholm Viewer.

1. Independence. We students live on a small campus, and as such we all encounter the intrigue of campus life, the drama of the residence halls and apartments, and the occasional silence of the administration.

So, what if, instead of having to ask your friends why dozens of innocent trees are being knocked down, or whether or not you should regret studying instead of attending Friday Night Live, you could read about it in a nifty paper a couple dozen people work tirelessly on? Luckily for you, you can..

2. Dispelling rumors. Tired of hearing your friends lie (intentionally or not) to you about current events on campus, of finding yourself misled by the blatantly false rumors that permeate the grounds, of being bamboozled by the bizarreness of the school you attend?

The best solution would be to get new friends — but you also should read The Lakeholm Viewer and get the real story, hot off the presses.

3. Someone you know may write for it. It can be tough to tout your own achievements to pals without sounding like a prideful menace of narcissistic character, but odds are one of your friends writes for the Viewer.

Writing is a window to the soul, and assuming your friends are not the aforementioned murdered trees, their souls may be more interesting than you know.

4. You just might be in a picture. With the dozens of pictures taken for the Lakeholm Viewer every issue, it’s likely that you’ll spot yourself — or your friends — in its pages one day. (Unless you are a recluse or a vampire.) Our photographers are so skilled, that even on your worst day we can all but guarantee to make you look beautiful.

6. It’s free. The price of an average daily newspaper in the United States is 25 cents. The price of the Lakeholm Viewer, however, ,is absolutely $0 every time. This isn’t an accident, and happens because someone else (namely the university) foots the bill for you. If you want to get the most out of your tuition money, you’d be well suited to reading the paper (and sneaking food out of the café in a top hat). You quite literally have nothing to lose if you don’t like it.

7. You’ll be informed and on top of things. You can follow the Viewer on Twitter at @lakeholmviewer and retweet stories you’re interested in. Your friends will have no choice but to accept the fact that you are more up-to-date and, by extension, better than them with your knowledge. What a wonderful feeling superiority is, and you can have it for the price of absolutely free by finding us on Facebook and Twitter.

8. Utility. After you’ve read the paper you can use it to line your aforementioned illegal birdcage (yes, we all know you have it). Perhaps you could use it to minimize the mess made by your less than house-trained roommate or the perennial favorite three-corner hats. All jokes aside, it also could be quite useful in papier-mâché or other artistic endeavors.

9. It’s good for a study break. Benjamin Franklin said “lose no time; be always employed in something useful…” Rather than taking a break to play Candy Crush or stare blankly at the ceiling in the vain hope your homework might do itself, you could do something useful with your time and read The Lakeholm Viewer.

10. All of the above. If this article were a question on a multiple choice quiz, the correct answer would be J (not J for John, but J as in the 10th letter of the alphabet). Of course, if you aren’t convinced by now, we know a 10th reason won’t change your mind.


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